Defining moments

Found this on my Sent folder and as much I would want to include some proof I got this from the Inquirer website (specifically on October 24, 2000) I don't have a way to do so. Too bad their archives don't include Youngblood articles as far back as this, and I only have 1 hard copy left. Pardon the idealism because I wrote this right after college graduation. In any case, be amused and may it lead you to reflect :)


Defining moments

My friend and I were in the car, on our way to Glorietta 4 to catch a movie with the rest of the group. She then asked me if some life-defining moment ever occurred. I wasn't sure what she was talking about and I didn't have a quick answer for that. I remember her telling me that one of her life-defining moments was looking at a framed picture by her bedside, a picture of her and her gorgeous boyfriend, her arms around his neck, in a candid pose. Or something like that. I remember laughing, since I could have thought of that too. She then explained that a life-defining moment was something you'd like to happen in the future no matter how far-off or crazy it might be. It was like a goal of some sort, but it's just something conjured up to tickle the imagination. We didn't dwell on that for long, for the conversation reverted to Harry Potter's new adventures and the movie that we were about to watch that afternoon.

I totally forgot about it, until a kabarkada now based in Seattle shared her own life-defining moment through e-groups, after that friend of mine (whom I watched the movie with) shared a brand-new one. They were all seeing themselves as successful IT professionals in power suits rushing from their pad to their office in Manhattan's Upper West Side. They were either carrying Louis Vuitton bags or their slim Compaq notebooks, while talking with a client on their top-of-the-line mobile phones and the most expensive Armani shades protecting their eyes from the glare of the sun.

Another friend saw herself making her way through an airport to catch her direct flight to London and eventually being seated beside a terribly good-looking classmate back in Wharton Business School, their small talk eventually leading to dinner and an invitation to join him on a cruise in the Bahamas. One saw herself managing her own café down Central Park, with regular customers becoming her friends and being asked to dinner by a mysterious gray-eyed guy who's supposed to look like Rob Thomas.

Another friend saw himself in a crisp business suit with all his hi-tech gadgets one could ever imagine, on a date with his stunning model girlfriend. Unfortunately they were mugged in a dark alley and his girlfriend was taken away to be raped by the three goons…and he ended it by saying that he became a priest because of that traumatic experience and his stunning girlfriend entered the nunnery to forget about the whole thing…he was obviously making a mockery of their LDMs (life-defining moments) but we all found it hilarious anyway.

I had a blast reading all of them and I couldn't keep my shoulders from shaking with suppressed laughter, and people from the office think I might be a lunatic or something, laughing by myself. I was really surprised and delighted to discover how creative and witty my friends could be. I could almost see them all grown up in their power suits, leather trench coats and flashy gadgets. It would really be nice if I could see it for real. I realized that most of us, including me, have to have some sort of association with New York or somewhere bigatin. For us it's the ultimate sign of success and one can't help but think if there was really a chance for us out there.

Most of the girls were done sharing, and I felt pressured to think of something as funny as theirs, but original. I couldn't think of anything as I stared at the computer monitor. On the way home, I was still racking my brains for the perfect life-defining moment. I felt all the funny stuff had been used up and I decided to get serious for a change.

And it wasn't easy. I never realized that taking it seriously would entail a great deal of soul-searching on my part. Unconsciously I drifted back to stuff I learned from philosophy to find out what I consider most important to achieve fulfillment in life. Was it working in New York? Having a luxurious lifestyle? Cruising in the Bahamas? Owning a yacht?

Knocking my head as the van went over some humps, my life-defining moment suddenly became clear. I could see myself in a white sundress with a wreath of flowers in my hair and a bouquet in my hands, giddy as a schoolgirl, as I take a slow step toward the priest waiting by the makeshift altar, as my husband of 50 years waits on. In his crisp white shirt, he looked dashing as ever, despite his salt-and-pepper hair (straight out of a romance novel!) He's wearing that same smile that still makes me feel that I'm the most beautiful girl for him despite the wrinkles and the nearsightedness, among other things…the smile that made me fall in love with him long, long ago…

My eldest grandson is our best man, and the first granddaughter, our maid of honor. The rest of the grandchildren comprise the entourage, while our two great-grandkids became the ring bearer and the flower girl. The guys in the family take after their lolo's good looks and sense of humor, and of course, the girls take after their lola's beauty and charming personality! It was an all-expenses-paid trip to the still pristine beaches of Boracay, one of my favorite places in the world, for the whole clan and friends back in college, with their spouses (and nurses probably, considering it will be quite difficult for senior citizens like us to travel).

We renew our vows as the sun slowly dips into the horizon, an equally romantic reenactment of what happened half a century ago, on the same spot. Our daughter dabs her made-up eyes with her handkerchief, and our two sons can't help but be proud that their parents have come this far, and hoping it will be the same with their respective wives.

Of course this is assuming that I get married between 25 and 27 years old and I don't contract any life-threatening disease during my lifetime. I may not have much control on what age I'll get hitched, but I can still do something about being healthy and being strong enough to attend my older grandchildren's college graduation. I know chances are slim that I'll reach that far, considering marriages and families aren't as solid as they ought to be, with premarital sex, adultery and divorce as normal as being stuck in traffic every morning. But then again, I'm an old-fashioned, idealistic hopeless romantic.

I smile contentedly as I finished off the last sentence of my reply to our e-groups. Now that is something worth looking forward to. All of a sudden the dream of having a skyscraper for an office, clicking my boot heels on the pavements of 5th Avenue and collecting frequent flyer miles fade in the background. I realize I don't need slim notebooks, personal digital assistants or fancy cars after all. It's all about having healthy children and grandchildren who grow up to be successful individuals. Being able to rock a great-grandchild to sleep. Savoring quiet dinners and long conversations with old friends. Enjoying the spectacular display of light at sunset and daybreak, the eerie yellow full moon and the shower of stars on a clear night. And of course, spending the rest of your comfortable life (not necessarily luxurious) with someone who always makes you feel loved. What good would all the money and fame bring you if you can't enjoy the simpler, but more valuable things in life? One may not feel successful without a high-paying job or a CEO position, but after all is said and done, it all boils down to all the things that money can't buy.



So, what is your life-defining moment? :)