Busy

I knew it. I had this heavy feeling I'm not supposed to be reading fiction... yet. As much as I want to get into the bandwagon of immersing myself into Stephanie Meyer's vampire anthology before the movie adaptation's trailer hit the cinemas (for those who are living under a rock, it's the Twilight series), most of my time's going to be spent on research at least for the month of September (long, boring journal articles are definitely the perfect lullaby).

Patay na. Fall season is about to commence with the season premier of Prison Break season 4 tomorrow (yup, Scylla will be shown Sept 1). Good thing the new episodes of other shows won't be shown at the same time (thank goodness for the spacing hahaha), but I can already imagine myself staying up til the wee hours of the morning downloading or watching them hahaha.

Wisdom and not an easy way out

First of all, thanks to everyone who wished me well and prayed for me for yesterday's defense! I prayed the rosary twice and I offered a mystery (twice) for all of you. You've also been taken care of :)

I look back at the moment when I was praying yesterday, and I realized that I was steering God into doing something for my convenience. I basically prayed that I come out of it with just some minor revisions to work on so I can start right away and end within my self-imposed time frame. Along with it I prayed for organized thoughts, the right words to use, for anxiety to go away, for my panel to be blessed with clear minds and kind words to constructively comment on my study. And guess what, they were all granted except for my first petition.

I was told my study was too complicated and they recommended a similar topic to work on. That means I need to research more, submit it as soon as I can and re-defend my proposal when I'm ready. It also means I have to pay something like 13k again to have my proposal approved. I have to get some local research from UP and Ateneo pa. All for the month of September. Sigh. I wasn't really depressed, but just thinking about it tires me out :( And it's never easy for someone like me to admit I failed, somewhat. On the world wide web for that matter!!! But then again, you might also get something from it :)

Never thought it could be this difficult. Definitely not a walk in the park. And to think I wanted to get another master's degree when I get to the States! Eh loka-loka pala ko eh! Hehehe! But He absolutely knows what He's doing. It was wrong for me to dictate what I want because He's not a genie who just grants wishes. Well, He does grant petitions, but only if it's according to His will. It may have been His will that I go through this not to finish my degree earlier, but to teach me things that I will remember for the rest of my life.

I learned that my parents aren't as judgmental as I once thought they were, and that they were still very supportive of me (and money will never be an issue).
I learned there are people outside my family who will go to great lengths to let me know and feel their support and love for me (thanks so much!).
I learned that only prayers can appease my anxiety (try it, seriously).
I learned that I can never carry any other person's cross but my own (it's a perfect fit).
I learned that I don't necessarily get what I want, but I get what I need.

I learned that the things we value the most are never obtained with a snap of a finger (otherwise, it loses its value, right?).
I am convinced that God will take care of me if I let Him steer my life instead.
And you know what, it's actually not so bad... they recommended a topic that's a lot more doable for me. Maybe what I really needed was some great clarification of things that I should do so I can do it well. It's going to take a great deal of patience for me, but then again, when has life been easy? This time I wasn't given an easy way out, but everything that will get me through this.

Mortified

I've been typing my cue cards since 6AM this morning, I just printed them and it seems like I can't breathe. Countdown to my 2PM thesis proposal defense. By 1130 I should be leaving the house to buy food for my panel. I have butterflies and gas in my stomach...

I was supposed to finish my cue cards last night, but I used the nebulizer in the hopes of expelling the remaining phlegm. It's my first time to use it (my mom and bro are pros because of their once frequent asthma attacks) and it made me lightheaded, my hands started shaking and I was trying to catch my breath. Did I use it wrong or was I just exaggerating? Nevertheless, it knocked me out cold like half an hour later, as I was on my bed scribbling some notes. When I woke up, all I saw were unrecognizable doodles hahaha.

Anyway, I was going over my paper all right, and it just dawned on me how "madugo" the methodology I proposed. Imagine, videotaped observations at home THREE TIMES A WEEK, observations in school THREE TIMES A WEEK FOR EIGHT FAMILIES plus parent/yaya/teacher interviews as supplement if necessary. TO BE SQUEEZED INTO ONE TERM, I think. There is also the possibility of my family respondents to be increased to 10 or more. HUHUHU! I wasn't really nervous about my defense, but from realizing this I think I'm going to have a heart attack!

I'll add one more slide then I'll pray the rosary before I take a shower. PLEASE PRAY FOR ME!

Sick thoughts

Of course that's not what I meant! For the whole month of August I was feeling lethargic and I finally caught the flu last Friday with a very irritating and noisy cough that started bugging me 2 weeks ago I think. All this because I wasn't getting enough sleep when I should be all the more because I got into running and Neil's dance moves has gotten a bit more challenging pa. Tigas kasi ng ulo ko eh! Things I realized as I was nursing myself back to health:

I am not superwoman. I've always thought of myself as a healthy person who eats right (most of the time), works out (as much as I can) and exudes with positivity, but I can only do so much. It doesn't help that I work with kids and they're always sick and I haven't been really vigilant with protecting myself against viruses. I tend to do everything even if it's not necessary, which is sometimes not healthy pala hehehe!
Sleep is very very important. I think I can only count the number of times that I got into a deep slumber for the whole month and I remember waking up very energized the next day (and I got to finish several things that other people should have done hahaha refer to number 1). For some reason I wake up several times in the middle of the night due to bad dreams, the need to pee and sometimes I can't get back to sleep. Someone's been thinking of me real bad! Hahaha! I resolve to sleep more this time. They say it helps one's metabolism, so I'm gonna give all the help it needs hahaha!
Continuous meds help a lot. Our family doesn't rely too much on meds. We believe the way to recovery is just complete rest (which I'm not getting a lot of so it's a vicious cycle lang talaga).We don't rely on doctors too unless it's REALLY necessary, and Peejo doesn't get that hahaha. Anyway, since I'm not used to getting sick, I stop taking meds when I feel a little better and that should not be the case hahaha. Ayan tuloy, tumagal pa lalo ubo ko. Might take them for the remainder of the week para sure. Mahirap na ma postpone pa defense ko on Friday (eeep! Please pray for me!)

Sorry it's been a while since I last posted a blog entry, I'm just too nervous for my defense all my thoughts are jumbled up. Maybe after I submit my revisions AFTER my defense then I'll be more relaxed.

Running music

Tinamad na ko mag upload ng music files, you can't download them anyway.

Just to share, here's my favorite running music as of late:

Coldplay - Viva La Vida
Survivor - Eye of the Tiger (bakit ba?! hahaha!)
Fergie - Fergalicious (I'll be up in the gym just working out my fitness he's my witness...)
Good Charlotte - Dance Floor Anthem
Paramore - Crush Crush Crush
Bloc Party - The Prayer
Benny Benassi - California Dreaming
Kat de Luna - Whine Up
Chris Brown - Forever
Black Eyed Peas - Let's Get it Started
More to come!

Running frenzy

I've never felt this tired in a long time. It was a total workout during street jazz class (Give It to Me by Madonna) that even Jheng chose to go home instead of working out some more afterwards. Imagine how I felt, I ran nonstop for half an hour (covering 3.794km yahoo!) and worked on my legs and abs pa before 6pm. I'm still coughing a little. When I got home, I stuffed myself with just a tuna pandesal. I hope, I hope all this pays off.

I've always thought I had weak knees and ankles that's why I'm not so much into sports. I tried surfing last year, it left me with a sore back for a month. I was into boxing for a good six months before but it eventually bored me and I realized I hate contact sports and making my own diskarte. I was never into volleyball nor basketball; swimming was promising but I didn't have the means to do it on a regular basis. I saw myself faithfully attending Neil's hiphop and street jazz classes at the gym and I realized that it was the workout for me. Together with running, I can do it by myself, I didn't need to improvise or strategize and I can work at my own pace. And more than anything, it's cool! Nowadays there's an incessant need naman to run and run and beat my distance everytime (nakakaaddict nga Lili!). I even bought new running shoes this afternoon and Peejo gave me his old Shuffle for a complete running experience hahaha!

For someone as lampa as me, it's really surprising that I was able to run nonstop twice this week! I covered 3.681km the first time and I was really proud of it. Sisiw na lang pala ang 5k run eh! Hahaha! I think it's in the playlist nga talaga. Peejo makes fun of me that I get hyped up with "Eye of the Tiger". Eh bakit ba, it makes me run longer eh! Wala nang pakialamanan! :D

Will post my favorite running music soon. This headache's acting up.

It's a bouncing baby boy!

If you remember my blog post about my 40-something tita who got pregnant again after 14 years, well, SHE GAVE BIRTH ALREADY! Nathaniel Dominic Baloro, 6.4 lbs, was born August 8, 2008, 8:13pm, 5 minutes into the Olympics' Opening Ceremonies in Beijing. We visited them this afternoon in Chinese General and Nathan is the pinkest baby I've seen in the longest time! I saw my lola discreetly wiping away tears as we viewed him in the nursery.

It's weird though, he might go home Tuesday pa or even later. Doctors found him to be yellowish because he acquired my tito's blood type (A) when he should have gotten his mom's (O) daw. So he'll be given around 3 days of light treatment and if his color doesn't improve, he'll be given antibiotics. I don't get it hehehe.

Yikes, cousins 28 years apart. I'm so old!!!

I can't wait to have him home! Pics to come :)

What a feat!

OK, I may have overworked myself this time, but I was too motivated to stop (is that good or bad?). Every single weekday of this week I engaged myself in physical activity, strenuous ones at that. Dance class/treadmill/weights, treadmill/weights, jogging, dance class/treadmill/weights, jogging: in that order. I've been trying to limit my rice intake to one meal a day, no unnecessary junk food snacking, and not thinking about chocolates and cake. I actually passed up on ice cream one time. TODO NA TO! Kaya naman pala eh. So here I am having a hard time getting out of bed because I'm aching all over hahaha! Give me a month of doing this, I'll be a changed woman... naks! :D

Thanks Lili for suggesting I check out running music from Nikeplus.com. Found that fast upbeat music actually helps a lot. Wednesday jogging was quite difficult because our AAV route was uphill-downhill and I kept stopping after just 5 minutes. Thursday on the treadmill I used my Zen and was surprised to find that even after 10 minutes of running I didn't feel the need to stop (but I did because somebody was about to use it). I might just be able to join a running event soon yay!

Am loving this!!!

Caught by surprise

I know, I know you guys missed me! Hahaha. It's been a toxic 2-3 weeks but I'm still alive and kicking. I would have blogged about the things that transpired, but then I'll be always woozy from lack of sleep. I'm guilty that this stress is just the consequence of my procrastination and I have to do something about it, maybe next week.... hahaha!

There have been a lot of wonderful little surprises over the past 2 weeks, not just for me but for my friends too (this Sunday's gospel about the Multiplication of the Loaves and Fish being aptly so). Two Fridays ago, I was able to submit my thesis proposal to the department chair with just five minutes to spare after sprinting from the photocopier at UM all the way to Andrew Hall in maybe 7 minutes (think half the distance of one LRT station to another). Man, THAT WAS A WORKOUT! Good thing Bianca gave me a ride from Alabang to Makati to conserve my energy. Otherwise I wouldn't have made it. So now I'm waiting for my proposal defense schedule which may come out the next week. It's time for me to get rid of the mountain of paper and books on my bedroom floor.

Monday night was CC time at Trish's place in Valero Street. Twas nice to see a lot of SE13 again! We can't get enough of each other that before we knew it, it was already midnight and we surprised Shep Sons with food and cake care of Ira of course, and we gave him this hilarious picture of him in a Darth Vader costume (complete with a glowing light saber) and Ira in a pretty Snow White costume) which we specifically instructed to display in their future home in Singapore (incidentally, that Halo-ween night he was made to read the gospel and he didn't take off the mask until he can't breathe anymore hahahaha). That brought the house down.

Of course Gian, who was one of the perpetrators of Shep Sons' surprise, was surprised herself. We presented her with 5 big boards full of birthday greetings from SE13 and other SE classes, which was originally MC's idea. So glad to see how her face lit up then :)

I thought the day was over at around 1am when Peejo and I were dropped off at the ATC parking lot. He opened Pat's trunk to give me these:



He said he just wanted to give me flowers to show how much he appreciates me doing good things for him and other people :) My heart melted again. The bouquet was really big! He even wore pink that day to match it hehehe! Sigh. He really is my Good Karma :)

Wait! There's more!
- Thursday night we were at Worship practice, and they don't usually do this for the new members, but we'll be singing with Praise at the prayer meeting tonight! Woohoo!!!
- Seriously contemplating about losing weight. Peejo and I vowed to jog Wednesday afternoons and just gorge on hefty apple-ham-cheese sandwiches when we get hungry (which is all the time). Was able to work out 3 times this week which is already a big improvement for me. Hoping I can keep up with it til December!!!