Bouts of inspiration just come from the most unexpected of circumstances!

Sunday, November 23, 2008

What happens in the classroom #1

1. Teachers would usually spell out certain words when talking inside the classroom for fear that the children may pick them up. One time, we were pointing to certain kids and guessing how they'll look like when they grow up. "He will be a basketball jock" or "This guy will break a lot of hearts" or "For sure he'll be the class clown". And there was a kid who was so smart that we all agreed "He will be a G-E-E-K with suspenders and high-waisted pants." No sooner than my co-teacher uttered those words, that kid chanted "G-E-E-K, G-E-E-K, G-E-E-K!" while marching like a soldier. As damage control, she said, "Yeah Mark's dad is greek, G-R-E-E-K."

2. There's another precocious kid who kept on bumping his classmates during free play time. One time my co-teacher said "Mark, you've been hurting your friends all morning!" "Sorry!" was his reply. "You keep saying 'sorry' but you keep doing it again. You even stepped on me twice," my co-teacher replied, with a sad face. "I'm sorry sorry teacher! I'm sorry sorry, I said sorry twice!"

3. It was restaurant week and we were about to use carrot sticks for painting and before distributing them, I held it up for all the children to see. I asked them, "Who wears a white hat and uses food like these in a restaurant?" Before anyone else could reply, Alexi excitedly shouted, "Rabbits!"

4. We just learned about the letter M and sang about Maggie Magnet and my co-teacher asked, "Who knows what comes after M?" Rapa answered, "Eno?" (Try singing the alphabet song.)

5. I was kidding around with Matthew our Aussie surfer dude, I was hiding his lunch or pretending to eat his vegemite sandwich (smells nasty btw). "C'mon Matty, can I have some of your lunch?" He vehemently replied, "No, you don't need it, you're already big! Look at yourself!" (Ouch!)

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Are you really ok?

Of course my life is not all roses. There are times when I get depressed, frustrated, annoyed and impatient, among other things. Most of the time, I would just say "Yup, I'm ok." But how many times was that actually true?

I hate being fussed about and being in the center of attention, especially when I feel there are a lot more important issues to deal with or I find my predicament too mundane for other people to get bothered with it. I'd rather focus my energies on helping someone else than having my issues dealt with (yes I have issues even if I look like I have none with my supposedly sunny personality). Guilt eats me up because I feel something I think I'm not supposed to feel. I find myself saying yes even when I have no idea what I put myself into or I had no time to do it, just to become somebody else's answer for something. I can be very hard on myself for other people's convenience. For me, other people's happiness of my primary concern. It's how I'm programmed, you might say. I keep complaints to myself and I immediately think of an explanation to what has recently happened, so I can jump back into the groove of things.

Unfortunately, I can't seem to stay long in the groove. I jump back but slide down. Jump back and slide down again. It can really be an exasperating cycle, you know. And it's all because I like to control my life with a remote control, where I can fast forward the depressing, tedious and worrisome events in my life, which are more often than not rooted to my feelings.

Time and again, Peejo would tell me that all feelings are valid, because we're all human beings. It's okay to get mad or upset at someone, it's okay to feel frustrated after a failed project, it's okay to throw a tantrum (if you must) to release whatever is eating you up. It's okay to feel and express your feelings. This might be a completely alien concept for most, because when we were kids, at one point or another our parents told us, "Stop crying!" It's even okay to feel like you want to kill someone for whatever reason. Because once you acknowledge that feeling, you become aware that something is lacking - be it a material possession, some kind of recognition, or anything that is of value to you.

Life is all about processes. Things happen in a sequential manner. Just like when you were learning to read, you had to know how letters look like, how they sound and what these combination of letters mean as words. A toddler doesn't just pluck a book from the shelf and start reading like you do. Gaining acceptance starts with acknowledgment, and I had a hard time with this. But the bigger question is, now that I acknowledged my feelings, WHAT AM I GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?

I acknowledged that I felt really frustrated about my thesis proposal, I got really annoyed with a friend of mine who, for a time, was "malakas ang dating", I got disappointed with my parents, yada yada yada. I gave myself time to wallow in it, but I eventually came to the point that I felt it was already time to stop feeling and start acting. I knew this time I was ready to start fresh, and that I'm less likely to come across that negative feeling again. Yes, I did feel I wanted to strangle someone, but I chose not to do anything about it hehehe.

It's okay not to be okay at times. People will still love you, if they are worth having in your life, that is. They will be strong for you when you're weak.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Are you listening?

I was always proud of my multitasking skills. I can watch TV, blog, chat and talk on the phone all at the same time, among other things that I do simultaneously. With my previous job, I was able to handle meetings, reports, client calls and still having enough energy for a nightcap. However, I'm starting to be bothered by my inability to remember things from the past that I'm beginning to think that multitasking may have caused more harm than good for me.

I think I was brought up in an environment where you were made to believe that they're listening to you when they're actually thinking about something else. They nod and say "it's alright" or "OK, and then?" and before you know it you find yourself alone with your thoughts and with no one to talk to. And so I realize that I breezed through school daydreaming a lot, and that I often attended to my responsibilities while listening to other people's woes, lest I be accused of being an absentee friend. I now look back at those conversations with regret, because it's either I may have given halfhearted advice, or they saw right through me, got insulted and decided to seek solace from somebody else.

Now there is someone in my life who really takes time to listen to absolutely everything I have to say, but I'm having a hard time doing the same thing, and that hurts him. I can't discount the fact that I'm attending to so many things at work and in school, but he has a point in saying that I can actually beg off and say "Give me some time to finish this up then let's talk." I guess I just got used to accomodating everyone and everything at the same time because that's what I've learned from people around me. I thought everyone and everything can be satisfied in that manner, but people really do need 100% of your attention; otherwise, it's not communication at all.

In the dizzying frenzy of the workaday world, how many times have you sat down with someone important in your life and just listened completely, stripping yourself of any biases, inhibitions and the worries that trouble you day in and day out?

Who among the people in your life can drop everything to give you the attention you don't think you need (but you actually do)?

Say a prayer of thanks for the people who take time to listen to you, because in this day and age, you're less likely to meet more of them. Learn to give your 100% attention to anyone who needs it, because it enables the other person to pay it forward.

A letter for Lian

(Sorry for this late post, but I wrote you a note that you watch out for something on my blog, so here it is :) Sorry I haven't posted the videos yet because super crappy Internet connection nowadays.)

Dear Lian,

So how's being an "adult" like, so far? :) I'm pretty sure it wasn't that overwhelming that leaves you at a loss for words. You might have even thought, "This is it?" Your explosive party was a different thing altogether, though hehehe. But then again, you've got the rest of your life ahead to figure out what to make of things like a real adult should.

I'm not writing this like a grandma who's about to impart nuggets of wisdom about life and love. For one, I'm just 10 years older than you, and definitely still feeling like a 20-year-old hahaha! Second, for all I know, we've just gone through the same amount of heart-wrenching experiences in our lifetime. The real reason? I just can't keep my hands from typing away :)

I'm blessed to have been given several opportunities to get to know you, your mom and your wonderful family. I hope you're aware how lucky you are that there are a lot of people who love you and the way you deal with different kinds of people just shows how you were admirably were brought up by your parents. It's not that common nowadays, you know. I can see you'll grow up to be a fine young woman - self-reliant, passionate, and very loving. And I can only pray for a continuous shower of blessings for you.

From one teacher to another, I feel that you're someone your future students will never forget. A lot of people in your party knew that you're going to be a good teacher and I'm pretty sure of that too. Whether you'll find work here or elsewhere, I assure you that it's a career where you'll feel most loved every single day. And I do hope that the desire to make a difference in the lives of little souls will always stay in your heart.

Thank you for all your help with the group, the happy times in your house and here's to more memories that we'll make together! I love you!

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Strain on my shoulders

... from all the stress this week. It's been a good one so far, and it will be capped off by Lian's birthday bash tonight at Old Swiss Inn. It's been a while since I last attended an SA activity, but I hope I can make up for it next month. I'm currently watching Charlotte's Web on HBO AND working on the children's portfolio AND checking updates on Multiply and Facebook accounts. No wonder my memory fails me sometimes - because I load it with so much information I never get to remember specific events in my life!

We were eating dinner and watching the news, and Daddy brought up the time we rode a ferry from Bohol to Cebu 3 or 4 years ago - AND I COULDN'T REMEMBER THAT PART OF THE TRIP AT ALL!!! When Peejo and my dad were talking about taking the bus in the States and my mom mentioned the time (back in 2000) a bus driver snapped at us because we forgot to buy our tickets, I was racking my brain for that particular memory - AND I CAME UP WITH NOTHING. Yikes. I think this is getting serious, because these are not the only things I don't remember. Talo pa ko ng mga magulang ko. Peejo fears I'll eventually forget him.

What is happening to me?!

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

Yes, I can feel it already, Father Christmas is making himself known! The throng of people in Greenhills tells you it's the time for spending, giving, receiving, eating and partying until your belly can't take it any more. It was much, much packed last weekend than today, tho. There's work again tomorrow, and I didn't even feel I had a sembreak because I had been working still. Anyhoo, it won't be me if I just rant and rant, because there are actually a lot more things to be thankful about:

1. Peejo will arrive Monday night, yay! Apart from the pasalubongs that he can't keep himself from telling me, I can't wait to see him in the flesh. I've been somewhat empty since he went on vacation, and of course there's been a lot of alone time for me. Walking at the mall and seeing something that makes you remember another thing and you just had to make kwento about it? Eating at a restaurant where we used to share a meal? Sharing my kids' funny anecdotes with someone? I didn't have that person for 3 whole weeks :( Each chat conversation I looked forward to a lot, and I struggled to remember every bit of detail but of course I can't (unless I write them down) and sometimes we ended up arguing, which messes up the mood altogether. But Tuesday we'll see each other! I can't wait!

2. I've started on my Christmas shopping! It's not a lot, but I know I'm gonna save a great deal this time. Purchased gifts for the helpers, my grandparents and a few friends. I think that's enough to keep my spirits high this season. Got myself a nice pair of gladiator sandals, a plaid top and a patent bag (matching, take note haha!). The joys of bargain shopping nga naman, keeps all my stress at bay :)

3. My BFF's got a BF! And so do my 2 girl friends from college - sorry for spilling the beans hahaha! As far as I know there are about 10 pairs who became couples this year. What's with this generation?! Humahabol ba sa Pasko?! Nakakatawa talaga. Or baka humahabol sa 2010 wedding. Eeeep. Don't look at me :)

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I think pesto's gonna come out of my ears any day now. This week was pesto pasta week, and I don't think I want to see any green pasta in the next month or so (but did you guys know that some place is offering Laing Pasta?! I saw it on a billboard, I dunno if it's Goldilocks, and another newbie on the menu is Crispy Halo-Halo - go figure.) Wednesday I craved for Aveneto's Nut Pesto with Chicken. Friday, I had some Creamy Pesto with Chicken at Brooklyn's, and just tonight, Pesto with Salmon at Tender Bob's. The verdict? Aveneto. Their pesto's the most potent! It's like you're eating nutty moss (but the yummiest moss you'll ever taste hahaha) and the chicken was bland enough to counter the very garlicky taste. But of course, this is just me and my non-discriminating palate. I'm feeling like a pesto connoisseur now! :D