This phrase has got to be the most powerful I've ever come across, and may as well be forever etched in my memory, thanks to the very entertaining Fr. Larry Tan. Just take the first letter of each word and you'll know what this phrase means. Stripped to the core, anything that puts yourself first is that. Of course it will forever be a struggle, but I realized it's His grace alone that will bring you through everything. Indeed, one must pay a price to gain something great. But it's really a no-brainer decision you know, if you just think about what lies beyond the moment you surrender yourself.
And so I did last weekend during the LSS. And I was completely liberated from everything that has been haunting me. An overwhelming sense of peace surrounds me up to this day and I pray that it doesn't cease. Today marks the rest of my blessed, blissful life, with God in the center, guiding me and My Good Karma in everything we do and say. It's equally touching that our friends are very happy for us and are even praying for us too. May this be a sign that things are slowly falling into place :)
Monday, June 30, 2008
Monday, June 23, 2008
Totally unexpected
Nothing can ever make you feel like a woman (a much-loved one at that) than being given a bouquet of beautiful flowers tied in ribbons. And in this case, it's the most beautiful I've ever received, it being totally unexpected but hoped for nevertheless.
The perfect words never crossed my mind
'Cause there was nothing in there but you
I felt every ounce of me screaming out
But the sound was trapped deep in me.
All I wanted just sped right past me
While I was rooted fast to the earth
I could be stuck here for a thousand years
Without your arms to drag me out.
There you are standing right in front of me
All this fear falls away to leave me naked
Hold me close 'cause I need you to guide me to safety.
No I won't wait forever
In the confusion and the aftermath
You are my signal fire
The only resolution and the only joy
Is the faint spark of forgiveness in your eyes.
There you are standing right in front of me
All this fear falls away to leave me naked
Hold me close 'cause I need you to guide me to safety.
No I won't wait forever
This may just be my good karma waiting to happen :)
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Fortunate Friday the 13th
I'm not the superstitious kind, but it surprises me to find out that a supposedly unlucky day actually turn out to be something worth remembering. This is also to cap off and reminisce about the week gone past.
1. It's our first week at school, and even if our hands are full with more than 20 kids this schoolyear, I feel it's going to be a great year! There may be a handful with separation issues but they're slowly warming up to me. I can't wait to show you their pictures! There's a kid who looks a lot like Jack Black who says "Mahiyig ako kumanta ng Ayown (Alone)" and there's another toddler who looks like a first grader (in size) who said "you know, we have to make an international airport with windows because if not, the airplane will make sagasa the people" and there's another chubby-cheeked boy who's half the size of the first grader look-alike who often bumps himself into things. Waaah. They're absolutely adorable!
2. I got to meet Neil's youngest, si Troy, na supposedly pinaglihi sa marshmallows (the big white Kraft ones). This is him! Sobrang steady! First time I held him, he laid his head on my shoulder na agad. Aba, pwede palang ikidnap haha! And then I found a piece of chicharon in his little fist eh kakaligo ko lang nun hahaha he might be smothering me with chicharon drool na pala. Aww meeen. Gusto ko na ata talaga magka-baby!!! Hahaha!
3. I think I was able to lengthily work on my thesis proposal this week even if it meant a LOT of reading. I'm not yet done though -- when will this ever end? :( Someone's praying for me and with me about it, so I guess it will be pretty much taken care of by Him :) -- IF I DON'T SLACK OFF!!!
4. I met several interesting people last night (Friday) over big slabs of meat, mashed potatoes and pasta (yum yum!) Like what I told my friend, I have been living a relatively sheltered life and it's always nice to get to know people whose past experiences are completely different from mine, because they serve as an eye opener for me. I am able to take their realizations as my own and turn it into a learning experience. Maybe sensitivity is really one of my best characteristics. It's actually a good deal you know, because I'm spared from the negativity of it all and yet I gain a lot from it nevertheless. Normally these people would scare the shit out of me, but it's not so bad after all. They're human too, and as capable of doing good as much as I am. And the most admirable of it all? They have a newfound zest for life that you might not even see in the people you encounter everyday in this lifetime. It's a welcome change to hear words of affirmation easily exchanged within a group, with no inhibitions, nobody thinking it's corny or gay or full of crap. It's genuine concern for the well-being of each other. How often do you see that?
5. Spiritual rejuvenation every Friday and LSS sessions. I think it's very essential because it keeps me grounded and reminds me that gaining something great takes conscious effort. Best served in the company of friends who share the same values as you :)
6. Glad to orchestrate something that made some friends happy. I don't really want to be a pushover, I just want everyone else to be as happy as I am! :) I'm feeling really excited for things to come!!!
1. It's our first week at school, and even if our hands are full with more than 20 kids this schoolyear, I feel it's going to be a great year! There may be a handful with separation issues but they're slowly warming up to me. I can't wait to show you their pictures! There's a kid who looks a lot like Jack Black who says "Mahiyig ako kumanta ng Ayown (Alone)" and there's another toddler who looks like a first grader (in size) who said "you know, we have to make an international airport with windows because if not, the airplane will make sagasa the people" and there's another chubby-cheeked boy who's half the size of the first grader look-alike who often bumps himself into things. Waaah. They're absolutely adorable!
2. I got to meet Neil's youngest, si Troy, na supposedly pinaglihi sa marshmallows (the big white Kraft ones). This is him! Sobrang steady! First time I held him, he laid his head on my shoulder na agad. Aba, pwede palang ikidnap haha! And then I found a piece of chicharon in his little fist eh kakaligo ko lang nun hahaha he might be smothering me with chicharon drool na pala. Aww meeen. Gusto ko na ata talaga magka-baby!!! Hahaha!
3. I think I was able to lengthily work on my thesis proposal this week even if it meant a LOT of reading. I'm not yet done though -- when will this ever end? :( Someone's praying for me and with me about it, so I guess it will be pretty much taken care of by Him :) -- IF I DON'T SLACK OFF!!!
4. I met several interesting people last night (Friday) over big slabs of meat, mashed potatoes and pasta (yum yum!) Like what I told my friend, I have been living a relatively sheltered life and it's always nice to get to know people whose past experiences are completely different from mine, because they serve as an eye opener for me. I am able to take their realizations as my own and turn it into a learning experience. Maybe sensitivity is really one of my best characteristics. It's actually a good deal you know, because I'm spared from the negativity of it all and yet I gain a lot from it nevertheless. Normally these people would scare the shit out of me, but it's not so bad after all. They're human too, and as capable of doing good as much as I am. And the most admirable of it all? They have a newfound zest for life that you might not even see in the people you encounter everyday in this lifetime. It's a welcome change to hear words of affirmation easily exchanged within a group, with no inhibitions, nobody thinking it's corny or gay or full of crap. It's genuine concern for the well-being of each other. How often do you see that?
5. Spiritual rejuvenation every Friday and LSS sessions. I think it's very essential because it keeps me grounded and reminds me that gaining something great takes conscious effort. Best served in the company of friends who share the same values as you :)
6. Glad to orchestrate something that made some friends happy. I don't really want to be a pushover, I just want everyone else to be as happy as I am! :) I'm feeling really excited for things to come!!!
Monday, June 9, 2008
A mom-daughter conversation
Pardon me, this is just too ridiculous not to post.
Me: Ma, sa Starbucks na lang ako magwowork.
Mom: Ano?! Pwede ba, intindihin mo na nga lang yang thesis mo!
Me: Oo nga ginagawa ko naman ah. Sa Starbucks nga ako magwowork.
Mom: (voice raising) Ikaw, ang dami-dami mong gustong gawin sa buhay mo, wala ka namang natatapos! Pag ikaw hindi ka nakapag-defend this term hindi ka na talaga mag-eenrol, nagsasayang ka ng pera...
Me: Kaya nga ginagawa ko na eh!
And then it dawned on me that she thought I WANTED TO GET A JOB AT STARBUCKS!!! It was like more than a year ago that I expressed a desire to try being a barista. Sheesh! She started laughing when I corrected myself, "Sa Starbucks na lang ako gagawa ng thesis." Kasi naman, ako pa daw ang may kasalanan at hindi ko nilinaw. Meeen, dahil ba sa init ito?!
Me: Ma, sa Starbucks na lang ako magwowork.
Mom: Ano?! Pwede ba, intindihin mo na nga lang yang thesis mo!
Me: Oo nga ginagawa ko naman ah. Sa Starbucks nga ako magwowork.
Mom: (voice raising) Ikaw, ang dami-dami mong gustong gawin sa buhay mo, wala ka namang natatapos! Pag ikaw hindi ka nakapag-defend this term hindi ka na talaga mag-eenrol, nagsasayang ka ng pera...
Me: Kaya nga ginagawa ko na eh!
And then it dawned on me that she thought I WANTED TO GET A JOB AT STARBUCKS!!! It was like more than a year ago that I expressed a desire to try being a barista. Sheesh! She started laughing when I corrected myself, "Sa Starbucks na lang ako gagawa ng thesis." Kasi naman, ako pa daw ang may kasalanan at hindi ko nilinaw. Meeen, dahil ba sa init ito?!
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Little things
The new schoolyear starts on Tuesday and I just enrolled this morning for Thesis Writing 3. With 10 3-year-olds in my class (most of them first-time students) and a July 26 deadline for thesis proposal defense application, it really looks like it's going to be very toxic 2 months for me. I think my heart just palpitated from impending stress :(
In any case, I miss blogging and before this account settles into inactivity again, let me look recount some happy little things as of late.
1. Charm gave birth to Caitlin Ann! Some best friend that I am, I didn't even know when she gave birth. I just saw her baby's pictures on Friendster (whose caption said "one week old"). Tsk tsk. Babies are always a blessing! I wanna have one too! Hahaha!
2. LSS sessions every Friday and CC last Thursday - nothing beats a strong dose of spiritual rejuvenation in the company of friends where genuine concern for each other is apparent. One thing I learned, He manifests His love with the people around you. I am human and I have human needs which can only be given by another human. God uses my friends and family to make me feel important and loved through their words of affirmation, physical affection/emotional warmth, their acts of service, the seemingly little gifts they give me, and the time they spend with me. Now that's the five languages of love for you!
3. Good times with friends - watching 21 Tuesday afternoon, hanging out at my house on Wednesday, hanging out at Aweng's house with tons of food last Thursday, Gnet's birthday dinner at Leslie's after shopping for her gift at Nike, hanging out at Brothers Burger last night. It doesn't take a lot to make me smile, really. More so make me laugh! :)
4. I think I fairly did a good job with decorating the Green Room. Big thanks to Vannie, Bianca and Yaya Ces for helping out. I can't wait to see my babies on Tuesday!!!
Sigh. Wish me luck with my thesis.
In any case, I miss blogging and before this account settles into inactivity again, let me look recount some happy little things as of late.
1. Charm gave birth to Caitlin Ann! Some best friend that I am, I didn't even know when she gave birth. I just saw her baby's pictures on Friendster (whose caption said "one week old"). Tsk tsk. Babies are always a blessing! I wanna have one too! Hahaha!
2. LSS sessions every Friday and CC last Thursday - nothing beats a strong dose of spiritual rejuvenation in the company of friends where genuine concern for each other is apparent. One thing I learned, He manifests His love with the people around you. I am human and I have human needs which can only be given by another human. God uses my friends and family to make me feel important and loved through their words of affirmation, physical affection/emotional warmth, their acts of service, the seemingly little gifts they give me, and the time they spend with me. Now that's the five languages of love for you!
3. Good times with friends - watching 21 Tuesday afternoon, hanging out at my house on Wednesday, hanging out at Aweng's house with tons of food last Thursday, Gnet's birthday dinner at Leslie's after shopping for her gift at Nike, hanging out at Brothers Burger last night. It doesn't take a lot to make me smile, really. More so make me laugh! :)
4. I think I fairly did a good job with decorating the Green Room. Big thanks to Vannie, Bianca and Yaya Ces for helping out. I can't wait to see my babies on Tuesday!!!
Sigh. Wish me luck with my thesis.
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