The art of nonchalance

Aaah. One of my favorite words of all time, perhaps one skill that I've mastered all these years. Mariah Carey even used it in Breakdown - "Well, I guess I'm trying to be nonchalant about it and I'm going to extremes to prove I'm fine without you..."

It goes by different meanings - indifference, detachment, disinterest, lack of concern. I find that it makes life a lot less complicated. Emotions are concealed, everything is dealt with objectively, and there's no room left for questions. You get on with your life, and other people get on with theirs too. Issue resolved and another day has gone.

I refuse to be branded as the jealous or the matampuhin type, for I always thought myself to be very rational (and oftentimes mature) but everytime I'm subjected to a particular situation that tests me, I find that I'm just kidding myself. It takes a lot to accept that I'm very sensitive and I have high expectations of people that I hold dear. If you say one thing, you have to mean it. If you say you're going to do this, I expect you to do it.

Of course I don't always get my way, but being the non-confrontational type, I'd rather say "it's ok", "no sweat" or "forget about it". Petty things I tend to forget, despite the inconveniences that resulted from someone's omission (or commission). Bigger things tend to bring more disappointments and/or pain, obviously, but to avoid more questions that would further open me up raw, I'll respond in a more socially acceptable manner and cross my fingers that nobody makes a big deal out of it. Practice makes perfect, and so far I could say I got it right down pat. I feel it just saves everyone's time when I withhold the drama queen in me, so we can move on to more important matters. Close friends who knew me better would applaud at this cool and mature approach (but would grill me about the actual state of my emotions later on).

Yeah, it surely makes me look like an angel, but the downside of it is that issues are never really addressed in the manner that they should. It's bound to pile up until it's too late to patch things up. Maybe that's why I tend to be a lot more patient than other people are, otherwise I would have gone berserk and wouldn't be writing about it.

Counting my lucky stars

Blame PLDT for the crappy connection which hinders me from blogging to my heart's content. But this post will not be about complaints, for I'm feeling lucky (woohoo!) and there's so much to be thankful about.

1. Already earned $24 at my first attempt of paid blogging! My mom said I should try withdrawing it to see if it's real hahaha so I have yet to check my EON account balance soon. I have yet to find more opps pretty soon. Target: $1000 hahaha!

2. I have a new toy!!! Anything daw to help me finish my thesis, so they got me a Compaq Presario a few hours ago :D I can't wait to tinker with it!!! Low EQ! Low EQ! Hahaha!

3. Feeling quite confident with my entry for Havaianas' Flippin' for the Beach. Hoping at least I get an exclusive pair of Havaianas. Prize is a 3d/2n stay for 2 at the beach destination I wrote about and other freebies. Who wants to join me at Carbin Reef (refer to my Bacolod photo album)? :)

4. My bro was generous enough to treat us to Haagen Dazs for dessert tonight. We had the pretty flower blossom ensemble which perfectly capped off the Mother's Day weekend. We'll be gorging on food again tomorrow since it's Mom and Dad's 29th wedding anniversary (ok ok another entry in the works).

5. I feel a family trip brewing :) Even if mom said that it's either the laptop or the trip, I'm quite confident we'll still push through at the end of May.

6. Very very good friends who continue to listen to my rants. Shep Sons, everything you say has a profound effect on me. I'm really touched to know you always look out for me! God bless you always!

7. New crushes :) Aweng would rather say men she's curious about. Well in my case, they're still boys (or rather, babies hahaha). One I could stare at the whole day (sigh!), and the other, well, his intellect and charm have sealed the deal (sssshhhh!). Too bad nothing's going to come out of it. Owel. But they make me smile everytime I see them so it's all good :)

Opening a can of worms

That's what a good friend of mine said as I got a little bit too honest with her about something. Let's just say I have to vigilantly withhold my honesty for the time being (or until me and/or somebody else gets tired of the whole thing) because it's gonna get a whole lot complicated for me (and that somebody) in the future. I don't even know how I feel about things nowadays. I've been told that I need an extra dose of prayers to get through this but I dunno what to pray for, really. That things get better? That things get ugly so it becomes easier? That another somebody figures in the whole picture? Rats. Whichever way it goes, someone is bound to get hurt. Maybe me, or somebody #1, somebody #2, #3, #4.....

My Friendster shoutout screams "Typically, it shouldn't be complicated nor confusing. If it is, then it's not what I'm looking for." Do things get complicated by the day, or I make things complicated? Is time on my side? Is God on my side? Do thoughts really become things? Am I making you guys dizzy with the anonymity? Live with it! I refuse to expound!

Darn. I need a vacation.

I heart Bacolod! April 4-6, 2008

First beach trip this summer! Click here for photos!



Every trip with these girlfriends are always a blast! :)

Tali Beach: This is the life! April 11-13, 2008

Check out pics from my latest getaway!

I love SE13!!!

(Can't) Keep walking

Flip flops and trainers are the only footwear I regularly use since I started teaching preschool, with a few instances where I wear Crocs shoes and my old sneakers. I hated the day I had to wear stilettos during Jing's wedding, good thing I didn't figure in any kind of accident. The good food made up for that suffering though.

Back to my point. My flat feet are no longer used to anything other than rubber or a flat surface. They cry out in agony when covered, much more when subjected to heights (e.g. heels). There are instances where I need to wear decent shoes and that's what I did when I met up with Agie in Greenbelt.

I wore brown pinstriped pants to go with my supposedly durable (albeit old) Bass dark brown sandals. I was running late, so I was kinda running-walking from MRT to Glorietta. And then I felt something - like something's amiss. I discreetly looked at my soles (lifting my heels of course) and I saw that the right heel was cracked and was about to give way to my weight! The whole left sole cracked in half. WTF?! This is supposed to be Bass! It costs too much to crumble like this! Now can you imagine how I was walking from Glorietta to Greenbelt? Very careful. Good thing my pants were a bit long so only my toes peeked out. And I sighed in relief when we settled in Bubba Gump and all the more when she offered to bring me all the way to the shuttle terminal after dinner. I got home with shoes still intact. Whew! That was close.

I vehemently deny that it cracked because of my weight. I'm not obese! Most likely the material crumbled due to lack of use. Maybe because of the intense heat too? My room is just like a sauna during the summer. Or maybe I didn't keep them in their box. Or maybe they're not as durable as I once thought they were. In any case, it made me feel bad because I really loved that pair, it just wasn't as comfortable as flip flops so I rarely used it nowadays. I hope my Bass boots don't suffer the same fate! :(

A statement

SBC at Festival Mall was the only place I could think of where I could kill time while waiting for my friends to pick me up. So I positioned myself at a side table very near the counter and the rest room. Wanted to be productive so I took out my notebook and started thinking about what to write in the anecdotal reports (rats! I forgot the form!) When deep in thought, I usually look up and I noticed the words written on the glass that's supposedly pointing at the seat across me - BEST BROTHER. Of course I shifted my gaze to see what's written above me. Guess what it said?



Why do I feel it's a statement of what is to come? Hahahaha! My exes may not agree, but the next and final one will surely attest to it (and thoughts become things, according to The Secret).