Finding motivation

We're still in the middle of July and I'm starting to have a harder time waking up in the morning. I think I somehow got used to having no school for 4 days with just one day in between. There was also this resectioning in school that made it all the more difficult to contain the students, and I guess that's what pissing me off. On top of that, I was given a new one-on-one task three times a week DURING MY LUNCHBREAK. Not to mention that on July 31 and August 7, both Saturdays, that we'll be required to report for work for make-up classes and a general faculty meeting at 5pm. I won't be surprised if there are more.

I evaluate myself after every class. More often than not, I always say to myself, "I could have done better". Be it in terms of disciplining or discussing the lesson. I try to do better in the next class but I really get irked with all the noise and the commotion, especially today when most of them brought some living creatures to the classroom. Imagine, this girl emptied a jar, leaving her poor fish flailing for dear life. Or the canister with the snail that gets passed on to every corner of the room, more children standing up than sitting down, and no calm strategy could make them focus their attention back to the front. I really feel for the quiet students who try so hard to settle in their seats and focus, but the noise from the other children ARE JUST SO ANNOYING AND OVERWHELMING. I could have turned on a chainsaw and they wouldn't have noticed.

It's ironic that I even wrote about changing one's perspective in my previous post. How do you do that with everything else going against you? I felt a little better finishing off the last of the chocolate cake from the ref, but later on I'll be working on my lesson plans and I'll feel stressed out all over again. I guess I'll just pray hard enough tonight.