Looks like it's going to take me the whole night to finish this (and another few hours wasted haha)
The rules are simple: List 20 things you want to say to 20 people but know you never will. Don't say who they are...
1. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to find myself, and the concern you've always shown me. I will never forget that you said I'll get to live the happiest life among us three. Sana ilibre mo rin ako ng Wagyu hahaha.
2. From the moment I met you, I knew I want to be just like you. Hopefully not the old maid part hahaha.
3. A friend told me that I should set my standards according to you because you are one to be idolized. Too bad you're off the market already. Lucky girlfriend!
4. It saddens me that you can't be as honest with me as I am with you.
5. Pwede ba, tantanan mo na ko! Don't you get it? I DON'T LIKE YOU!!! Sige magsayang ka pa ng piso mo!
6. Is it you? Is it you? Are you the one I've been waiting for? Could you be the one for me? Could you be the one I need?
7. Here you go again with your yabang kwentos, which I should have gotten used to already. And I will have to put up with you again. Sigh!
8. I will never forget the time I saw you come in with hair like a chessboard (with blonde square-like streaks). Kala mo napakagwapo mo?! JOLOGS!
9. I'm really sorry I acted very immaturely then. I could only imagine how confused and angry you felt. Glad you're happy with someone now.
10. I never told you back then that your dad reminded me so much of Stitch (as in Lilo and Stitch) but I've always admired him for his great accomplishments.
11. Bakit ang sungit mo? May ginawa ba ko sa yo? Kala ko pa naman mabait ka, sabi nila kasi eh.
12. My friend saw you in Starbucks in a very ugly orange tunic. I saw you lining up at the ticket booth of Festival Cinemas. You invited me to your party a few months ago. Do you remember that you held my hand during your party last year? What was that all about?
13. I would've considered you if only nagseryoso ka lang. Ang gulo gulo mo eh, sino magtatyaga sa yo? Although I have to say galante ka talaga :D
14. Even if it was short-lived, it was pretty daring and exciting. You taught me one thing - that I'm not that kind of girl after all.
15. I'm always at home in your home. If I could choose parents other than my own, I'd choose yours. You are so lucky to have them.
16. So have you gotten married already? I'm still wondering what made you decide I'm a lost cause. But it's all good.
17. No matter what they say, I still think you make good decisions for everyone. Will forever be grateful that you gave me a chance even if I was clueless then. I just don't like that you always have an irritating scowl on your face.
18. I had a crush on your brother.
19. I thought you were cute and interesting, but I don't think we have a lot in common. It's not really much of a loss that I no longer see you around.
20. I used to stalk you on Friendster with the very little information I had on hand. How come you don't go to the gym anymore?
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Backing me up
Had a very enlightening heart-to-heart talk with my mom last Sunday, and I'm really glad we had that conversation because it cleared certain things between us. She admitted that her Wednesday novenas are always for me and the one that's meant for me, that I be blessed with wisdom to say and do the right things. (Whoa. O di ba. She thinks my lovelife, or lack thereof, needs the intercession of our Mother of Perpetual Help hahaha!) I barely tell her anything about the state of my lovelife but I'm sure she knows exactly the state of my emotions at any given time (considering my eyes tell it all). It was really nice to be honest with her this time, and it was pretty much obvious that she appreciated it. Sniff. Now I know I'll always be alright because I've got my mom to back me up! :)
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Newsworthy
My mom is annoyed that I know nothing about what's happening around. She says I'm too engrossed in blogging and chatting to bother reading the news. When I finally do get interested in current events, I see this on the Saturday morning paper: Bloodbath in bank: 9 shot in the head. Okaaay. That is soooo grabbing my attention and makes me hunger for more.
One should not be blamed for cancelling newspaper subscriptions. There is so much drama in one's life that one should not hunger for other people's dramas. And besides, how on earth can you face the day with a smile when you're greeted with tragedy? If it's not about heinous crimes, it's about what Kris thinks about something or the "explosive truth" the recently evicted PBB housemate is about to drop. YOU CALL THAT NEWS?! Yawn.
The news I'm most certainly looking forward to is David Cook being hailed as the new American Idol.
One should not be blamed for cancelling newspaper subscriptions. There is so much drama in one's life that one should not hunger for other people's dramas. And besides, how on earth can you face the day with a smile when you're greeted with tragedy? If it's not about heinous crimes, it's about what Kris thinks about something or the "explosive truth" the recently evicted PBB housemate is about to drop. YOU CALL THAT NEWS?! Yawn.
The news I'm most certainly looking forward to is David Cook being hailed as the new American Idol.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
All I really need to know I learned in kindergarten
Robert Fulghum says, "Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sandbox at nursery school." Upholding the credibility of all preschool teachers like me is far from being the main point of this blog entry.
Since summer class starts at 9am, I find myself still sipping coffee at 7am while my niece watches the morning cartoons. I spread cream cheese on my bread to the beat of the theme from Thomas and Friends "They're two, they're four, they're six, they're eight..." Today's episode featured Spencer, a bullet train regularly used by the Duke and Duchess, who always boasts how fast, strong and shiny he is compared to the other tank engines. Thomas wanted so much to be like him. He wanted to see how fast he can be, but Emily warned him he's not built to be as fast as a bullet train. He wanted to see how strong he was, but he can barely bring loads of heavy stones up the mountain. He had himself polished very well, but ended up getting really dusty from his tasks. At the end of the day, he found himself to be side by side with Spencer, who was still getting warmed up (he had a diesel engine). The Duke suddenly arrived, hurrying because he had a plane to catch. Since Spencer wasn't ready, he chose Thomas to bring him back to the mainland (these engines lived on an island whose name I forgot). So the Duke's crest was placed on Thomas' and he proudly huffed and puffed all the way to the airport and the Duke arrived on time. Thomas was highly commended for a job well done.
Moral of the story: It doesn't matter how fast or how strong or how shiny you are, what matters is how reliable you can be.
We are living in a cynical, cynical world (quoting Jerry Maguire on this). No matter how hard we fight it, our thoughts and actions reflect the filth of the system that we are living in, and we oftentimes fail to uphold the values we think we are strongly attached to. If you feel you're being sucked into a blackhole, try tuning in to children's shows (or get yourself surrounded by children). You'll find that the more important truths are the simplest. And you don't need a master's degree to understand it.
Since summer class starts at 9am, I find myself still sipping coffee at 7am while my niece watches the morning cartoons. I spread cream cheese on my bread to the beat of the theme from Thomas and Friends "They're two, they're four, they're six, they're eight..." Today's episode featured Spencer, a bullet train regularly used by the Duke and Duchess, who always boasts how fast, strong and shiny he is compared to the other tank engines. Thomas wanted so much to be like him. He wanted to see how fast he can be, but Emily warned him he's not built to be as fast as a bullet train. He wanted to see how strong he was, but he can barely bring loads of heavy stones up the mountain. He had himself polished very well, but ended up getting really dusty from his tasks. At the end of the day, he found himself to be side by side with Spencer, who was still getting warmed up (he had a diesel engine). The Duke suddenly arrived, hurrying because he had a plane to catch. Since Spencer wasn't ready, he chose Thomas to bring him back to the mainland (these engines lived on an island whose name I forgot). So the Duke's crest was placed on Thomas' and he proudly huffed and puffed all the way to the airport and the Duke arrived on time. Thomas was highly commended for a job well done.
Moral of the story: It doesn't matter how fast or how strong or how shiny you are, what matters is how reliable you can be.
We are living in a cynical, cynical world (quoting Jerry Maguire on this). No matter how hard we fight it, our thoughts and actions reflect the filth of the system that we are living in, and we oftentimes fail to uphold the values we think we are strongly attached to. If you feel you're being sucked into a blackhole, try tuning in to children's shows (or get yourself surrounded by children). You'll find that the more important truths are the simplest. And you don't need a master's degree to understand it.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
The art of nonchalance
Aaah. One of my favorite words of all time, perhaps one skill that I've mastered all these years. Mariah Carey even used it in Breakdown - "Well, I guess I'm trying to be nonchalant about it and I'm going to extremes to prove I'm fine without you..."
It goes by different meanings - indifference, detachment, disinterest, lack of concern. I find that it makes life a lot less complicated. Emotions are concealed, everything is dealt with objectively, and there's no room left for questions. You get on with your life, and other people get on with theirs too. Issue resolved and another day has gone.
I refuse to be branded as the jealous or the matampuhin type, for I always thought myself to be very rational (and oftentimes mature) but everytime I'm subjected to a particular situation that tests me, I find that I'm just kidding myself. It takes a lot to accept that I'm very sensitive and I have high expectations of people that I hold dear. If you say one thing, you have to mean it. If you say you're going to do this, I expect you to do it.
Of course I don't always get my way, but being the non-confrontational type, I'd rather say "it's ok", "no sweat" or "forget about it". Petty things I tend to forget, despite the inconveniences that resulted from someone's omission (or commission). Bigger things tend to bring more disappointments and/or pain, obviously, but to avoid more questions that would further open me up raw, I'll respond in a more socially acceptable manner and cross my fingers that nobody makes a big deal out of it. Practice makes perfect, and so far I could say I got it right down pat. I feel it just saves everyone's time when I withhold the drama queen in me, so we can move on to more important matters. Close friends who knew me better would applaud at this cool and mature approach (but would grill me about the actual state of my emotions later on).
Yeah, it surely makes me look like an angel, but the downside of it is that issues are never really addressed in the manner that they should. It's bound to pile up until it's too late to patch things up. Maybe that's why I tend to be a lot more patient than other people are, otherwise I would have gone berserk and wouldn't be writing about it.
It goes by different meanings - indifference, detachment, disinterest, lack of concern. I find that it makes life a lot less complicated. Emotions are concealed, everything is dealt with objectively, and there's no room left for questions. You get on with your life, and other people get on with theirs too. Issue resolved and another day has gone.
I refuse to be branded as the jealous or the matampuhin type, for I always thought myself to be very rational (and oftentimes mature) but everytime I'm subjected to a particular situation that tests me, I find that I'm just kidding myself. It takes a lot to accept that I'm very sensitive and I have high expectations of people that I hold dear. If you say one thing, you have to mean it. If you say you're going to do this, I expect you to do it.
Of course I don't always get my way, but being the non-confrontational type, I'd rather say "it's ok", "no sweat" or "forget about it". Petty things I tend to forget, despite the inconveniences that resulted from someone's omission (or commission). Bigger things tend to bring more disappointments and/or pain, obviously, but to avoid more questions that would further open me up raw, I'll respond in a more socially acceptable manner and cross my fingers that nobody makes a big deal out of it. Practice makes perfect, and so far I could say I got it right down pat. I feel it just saves everyone's time when I withhold the drama queen in me, so we can move on to more important matters. Close friends who knew me better would applaud at this cool and mature approach (but would grill me about the actual state of my emotions later on).
Yeah, it surely makes me look like an angel, but the downside of it is that issues are never really addressed in the manner that they should. It's bound to pile up until it's too late to patch things up. Maybe that's why I tend to be a lot more patient than other people are, otherwise I would have gone berserk and wouldn't be writing about it.
Monday, May 12, 2008
Counting my lucky stars
Blame PLDT for the crappy connection which hinders me from blogging to my heart's content. But this post will not be about complaints, for I'm feeling lucky (woohoo!) and there's so much to be thankful about.
1. Already earned $24 at my first attempt of paid blogging! My mom said I should try withdrawing it to see if it's real hahaha so I have yet to check my EON account balance soon. I have yet to find more opps pretty soon. Target: $1000 hahaha!
2. I have a new toy!!! Anything daw to help me finish my thesis, so they got me a Compaq Presario a few hours ago :D I can't wait to tinker with it!!! Low EQ! Low EQ! Hahaha!
3. Feeling quite confident with my entry for Havaianas' Flippin' for the Beach. Hoping at least I get an exclusive pair of Havaianas. Prize is a 3d/2n stay for 2 at the beach destination I wrote about and other freebies. Who wants to join me at Carbin Reef (refer to my Bacolod photo album)? :)
4. My bro was generous enough to treat us to Haagen Dazs for dessert tonight. We had the pretty flower blossom ensemble which perfectly capped off the Mother's Day weekend. We'll be gorging on food again tomorrow since it's Mom and Dad's 29th wedding anniversary (ok ok another entry in the works).
5. I feel a family trip brewing :) Even if mom said that it's either the laptop or the trip, I'm quite confident we'll still push through at the end of May.
6. Very very good friends who continue to listen to my rants. Shep Sons, everything you say has a profound effect on me. I'm really touched to know you always look out for me! God bless you always!
7. New crushes :) Aweng would rather say men she's curious about. Well in my case, they're still boys (or rather, babies hahaha). One I could stare at the whole day (sigh!), and the other, well, his intellect and charm have sealed the deal (sssshhhh!). Too bad nothing's going to come out of it. Owel. But they make me smile everytime I see them so it's all good :)
1. Already earned $24 at my first attempt of paid blogging! My mom said I should try withdrawing it to see if it's real hahaha so I have yet to check my EON account balance soon. I have yet to find more opps pretty soon. Target: $1000 hahaha!
2. I have a new toy!!! Anything daw to help me finish my thesis, so they got me a Compaq Presario a few hours ago :D I can't wait to tinker with it!!! Low EQ! Low EQ! Hahaha!
3. Feeling quite confident with my entry for Havaianas' Flippin' for the Beach. Hoping at least I get an exclusive pair of Havaianas. Prize is a 3d/2n stay for 2 at the beach destination I wrote about and other freebies. Who wants to join me at Carbin Reef (refer to my Bacolod photo album)? :)
4. My bro was generous enough to treat us to Haagen Dazs for dessert tonight. We had the pretty flower blossom ensemble which perfectly capped off the Mother's Day weekend. We'll be gorging on food again tomorrow since it's Mom and Dad's 29th wedding anniversary (ok ok another entry in the works).
5. I feel a family trip brewing :) Even if mom said that it's either the laptop or the trip, I'm quite confident we'll still push through at the end of May.
6. Very very good friends who continue to listen to my rants. Shep Sons, everything you say has a profound effect on me. I'm really touched to know you always look out for me! God bless you always!
7. New crushes :) Aweng would rather say men she's curious about. Well in my case, they're still boys (or rather, babies hahaha). One I could stare at the whole day (sigh!), and the other, well, his intellect and charm have sealed the deal (sssshhhh!). Too bad nothing's going to come out of it. Owel. But they make me smile everytime I see them so it's all good :)
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Opening a can of worms
That's what a good friend of mine said as I got a little bit too honest with her about something. Let's just say I have to vigilantly withhold my honesty for the time being (or until me and/or somebody else gets tired of the whole thing) because it's gonna get a whole lot complicated for me (and that somebody) in the future. I don't even know how I feel about things nowadays. I've been told that I need an extra dose of prayers to get through this but I dunno what to pray for, really. That things get better? That things get ugly so it becomes easier? That another somebody figures in the whole picture? Rats. Whichever way it goes, someone is bound to get hurt. Maybe me, or somebody #1, somebody #2, #3, #4.....
My Friendster shoutout screams "Typically, it shouldn't be complicated nor confusing. If it is, then it's not what I'm looking for." Do things get complicated by the day, or I make things complicated? Is time on my side? Is God on my side? Do thoughts really become things? Am I making you guys dizzy with the anonymity? Live with it! I refuse to expound!
Darn. I need a vacation.
My Friendster shoutout screams "Typically, it shouldn't be complicated nor confusing. If it is, then it's not what I'm looking for." Do things get complicated by the day, or I make things complicated? Is time on my side? Is God on my side? Do thoughts really become things? Am I making you guys dizzy with the anonymity? Live with it! I refuse to expound!
Darn. I need a vacation.
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